I know, I surprise even myself. (NOT!)

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

And I do mean EVERYTHING. Including these socks, because they speak the truth. And the truth is annoying, too.

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

It feels good to just say it out loud, doesn't it?

56% combed cotton; 41% nylon; 3% spandex.

I like 'em. I like 'em all.

62% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 3% spandex.

Fuck work! Monday might be a different story I guess but, you know, for today? Fuck it, man!

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

"Yes chef!" And let me hear you say it. Men's shoe size 7-12. 40% nylon; 57% combed cotton; 3% spandex.

This is a big deal but I know you got my back, dude.

51% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 3% spandex.

Look, it's not complicated. You just take a left at the brown tree, the one with all those branches? Yeah, then you go about 43 paces past the old building there...no, no Indiana Jone's paces, that's standard, and then... Men's shoe size 7-12. 26% nylon; 72% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

What's really cool about me is that I'm even cool in the ways in which im a little un-cool, which is pretty cool, you know?

62% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 3% spandex.

I mean REALLY into birds. And I've got the gear to prove it.

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

The only good thing about this meeting is that it matches your socks.

71% combed cotton; 27% nylon; 2% spandex.

You're the raddest dad in town. The gnarliest, the coolest, the most tubular. You know, all that stuff the kids say these days.

51% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 3% spandex.

Question: If a man in a forest shouts, "I fucking love it out here!" and no one hears it, does he make a sound? Answer: No, and that's how he likes it.

57% combed cotton; 41% nylon; 2% spandex.

Don't worry, he knows who he is. Men's shoe size 7-12. 30% nylon; 68% combed cotton; 2% spandex.