Don't try to tell me ol' isn't a real word. I just happen to know that it's a variant of the word old and is formed the same way as the long-standing tradition of dropping the final consonant of a word to soften it or simulate a slight drawl, just like with rockin', rollin' or scrutinizin' grammar until there isn't a drop of joy left in it.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

When we sent this oven mitt art to the factory, our friends there said: "the cats look so vivid!" And I mean, they're not wrong.

Tomato season is life. Life is tomato season. What more is there to say? Super-absorbent. 100% unbleached cotton.

Honestly, I don't really feel like you need a written description of this towel. If you don't get it from the image, I can't help you.

Each and every last one of ya. So GET READY.

Seriously, it's good for you. Just try it one fucking time. Please.

Of course it's delicious - you made it! Why? Does someone dare doubt your culinary prowess? Want me to beat them up?

Whether it's your first rodeo, or your hundredth, y'all don't wanna burn those paws! 

We don't conform! We chop wood, we build blazing fires, and yeah, we also use oven mitts. Take that, world!

Keep complaining and I'll send you to bed without any trash to eat at all.

Because of course it is. Always ends up there eventually.

Feeling kind of stuck in this cycle of reprimanding and then immediately forgiving you because whosthebestdoggie. I guess it's just our thing.

Let's get rid of the sofa and replace it with more plant stands! What, is that a problem?

The important thing is to keep hydrating, even if you don't feel particularly thirsty. 

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Smells like jasmine with orange peel & pear.

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Smells like hibiscus with a little vanilla.

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Wild cherry blossom with a hint of sandalwood.

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Smells like lavender with a little lemon.

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Smells like flowers of Tahiti with melon & coconut.

Lovely smelling, aggressively refreshing, quickly absorbing. Made with a super-nourishing blend of shea butter, almond oil and vitamin E. Smells like seagrass, saltflower and jasmine.

I know, I surprise even myself. (NOT!)

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

And I do mean EVERYTHING. Including these socks, because they speak the truth. And the truth is annoying, too.

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

I'm sure you can see that I'm very busy defeating the big boss right now, so I'll thank you kindly to please fuck off.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Who wants to go take on the world!? Who's a good doggy!?

52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex. 

These particular results are more correlative than causal. But it's all in the reporting, isn't it?

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

All the fun stuff, none of the responsibility. It's no wonder she brings the party!

52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that she's a quiet, docile, meek bookworm. But only the first time.

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

There's something kind of wrong about putting a fierce phrase like this next to a couple of friendly flowers. But there's also something kind of right about it, too.

57% combed cotton; 41% nylon; 2% spandex.

I was just on a walk the other day when it occurred to me. And honestly, I was so blown away by my own incredible tenacity that I had to sit down for a second and catch my breath.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

I'll get right on that, I assure you. Just gonna rest one real quick minute first. Women's shoe size 5-10. 49% combed cotton; 49% nylon; 2% spandex.

I just love her face - determined, focused, a little devilish. She reminds me a little of you, actually.

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

Sometimes the Ringmaster doesn't get the credit she deserves. Sometimes the attention goes to all the stuff that's going on around her - the leaping, the twirling, the fire-breathing, that kind of stuff. But not today.

63% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 2% spandex.

You work your ass off and we all know it. So let the world know that you know that we know.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex. 

Also, I don't not want a nap. Or a vacation.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex. 

I got all my sisters with me! We are family! Get up everybody and sing!

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex. 

You don't have monstera? Oh jeez, that IS a problem. Women's shoe size 5-10. 43% combed cotton; 55% nylon; 2% spandex.

Holy shit! Have you seen these cat things!? they're amazing!

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

I've always told my kids to accept themselves, no matter who they are. Joke's on me, I guess.

55% nylon; 43% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

I'd put money on it. I mean, if they let babies have money I would.

Made with 78% cotton, 20% nylon, 2% spandex. 

They never show it in the movies, but even heroes have to poop.

Made with 71% cotton, 27% nylon, 2% spandex.

I never forget a face. or someone who drops me.

Made with 73% cotton, 25% nylon, 2% spandex.

Call it modern art. Or maybe performance art?

Made with 72% cotton, 26% nylon, 2% spandex.

Cute little meatballs grow up to be big meatballs, you know.

Made with 76% cotton, 22% nylon, 2% spandex.

We all know Mom is the coolest, but does she know that!? A little reminder now and then couldn't hurt.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Some people are into birds, but some people are REALLY into birds. Which one are you?

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Most of the time, I've got all the patience in the world. Other times, I've got abso-fucking-lutely none of it. Not a speck.

Like you haven't had enough to deal with already. I mean, what the fuck?

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

If you have to say it, and sometimes you HAVE to say it, say it sweetly with these lovely, ankle-huggin' foot snuggies. What I mean is, say it with socks.

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

Say it like you mean it. Say it softly and with lavender. Women's shoe size 5-10. 52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex.

You know exactly who you're going to buy these socks for (besides a pair for you too, of course). It's for the sassy, smart someone who doesn't mind lifting up their bottom cuff to show their true colors. And these are damn fine colors. And DAMN fine soft combed cotton.

53% combed cotton, 44% nylon and 3% spandex.