Don't try to tell me ol' isn't a real word. I just happen to know that it's a variant of the word old and is formed the same way as the long-standing tradition of dropping the final consonant of a word to soften it or simulate a slight drawl, just like with rockin', rollin' or scrutinizin' grammar until there isn't a drop of joy left in it.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

I know, I surprise even myself. (NOT!)

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

And I do mean EVERYTHING. Including these socks, because they speak the truth. And the truth is annoying, too.

Made with shock-absorbing cushion, soft heel tab, and compression band.

S/M fits women's shoe size 5-9/men's shoe size 4-8. L/XL fits women's shoe size 9-13/men's shoe size 8-12. 39% polyester; 39% cotton; 19% nylon, 3% spandex.

I'm sure you can see that I'm very busy defeating the big boss right now, so I'll thank you kindly to please fuck off.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Who wants to go take on the world!? Who's a good doggy!?

52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex. 

These particular results are more correlative than causal. But it's all in the reporting, isn't it?

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

All the fun stuff, none of the responsibility. It's no wonder she brings the party!

52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that she's a quiet, docile, meek bookworm. But only the first time.

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

There's something kind of wrong about putting a fierce phrase like this next to a couple of friendly flowers. But there's also something kind of right about it, too.

57% combed cotton; 41% nylon; 2% spandex.

I was just on a walk the other day when it occurred to me. And honestly, I was so blown away by my own incredible tenacity that I had to sit down for a second and catch my breath.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

I'll get right on that, I assure you. Just gonna rest one real quick minute first. Women's shoe size 5-10. 49% combed cotton; 49% nylon; 2% spandex.

I just love her face - determined, focused, a little devilish. She reminds me a little of you, actually.

50% nylon; 48% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

Sometimes the Ringmaster doesn't get the credit she deserves. Sometimes the attention goes to all the stuff that's going on around her - the leaping, the twirling, the fire-breathing, that kind of stuff. But not today.

63% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 2% spandex.

You work your ass off and we all know it. So let the world know that you know that we know.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex. 

Also, I don't not want a nap. Or a vacation.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex. 

I got all my sisters with me! We are family! Get up everybody and sing!

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex. 

You don't have monstera? Oh jeez, that IS a problem. Women's shoe size 5-10. 43% combed cotton; 55% nylon; 2% spandex.

Holy shit! Have you seen these cat things!? they're amazing!

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

I've always told my kids to accept themselves, no matter who they are. Joke's on me, I guess.

55% nylon; 43% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

I'd put money on it. I mean, if they let babies have money I would.

Made with 78% cotton, 20% nylon, 2% spandex. 

They never show it in the movies, but even heroes have to poop.

Made with 71% cotton, 27% nylon, 2% spandex.

I never forget a face. or someone who drops me.

Made with 73% cotton, 25% nylon, 2% spandex.

Call it modern art. Or maybe performance art?

Made with 72% cotton, 26% nylon, 2% spandex.

Cute little meatballs grow up to be big meatballs, you know.

Made with 76% cotton, 22% nylon, 2% spandex.

We all know Mom is the coolest, but does she know that!? A little reminder now and then couldn't hurt.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Some people are into birds, but some people are REALLY into birds. Which one are you?

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Most of the time, I've got all the patience in the world. Other times, I've got abso-fucking-lutely none of it. Not a speck.

Like you haven't had enough to deal with already. I mean, what the fuck?

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

If you have to say it, and sometimes you HAVE to say it, say it sweetly with these lovely, ankle-huggin' foot snuggies. What I mean is, say it with socks.

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

Say it like you mean it. Say it softly and with lavender. Women's shoe size 5-10. 52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex.

You know exactly who you're going to buy these socks for (besides a pair for you too, of course). It's for the sassy, smart someone who doesn't mind lifting up their bottom cuff to show their true colors. And these are damn fine colors. And DAMN fine soft combed cotton.

53% combed cotton, 44% nylon and 3% spandex.

Like it or lump it, buddy. I do what I can. Women's shoe size 5-10. 51% combed cotton; 47% nylon; 2% spandex.

I would be more subtle about my needs, it's just that, well ... I'm a cat. Come on, you know what to do. Women's shoe size 5-10. 62% combed cotton; 36% nylon; 2% spandex.

That said, I'm not going to tell you WHAT I've seen. You'll have to use your imagination for that.

56% combed cotton; 42% nylon; 2% spandex.

Sure, your other grandma's cool ... but I'm your cool-ASS grandma and you can't top that. Women's shoe size 5-10. 52% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 2% spandex.

What can I say? I contain multitudes.

55% nylon; 43% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

You know how they'll know that these were a gift? Because of the glitter. You know how they won't forget that these were a gift? Also, because of the glitter.

52% nylon; 40% combed cotton; 2% spandex; 6% other fibers.

You don't have to actually wrestle a gator, though. Usually just running with scissors will do the trick.

51% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 3% spandex. 

It feels good to just say it out loud, doesn't it?

56% combed cotton; 41% nylon; 3% spandex.

I like 'em. I like 'em all.

62% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 3% spandex.

Fuck work! Monday might be a different story I guess but, you know, for today? Fuck it, man!

53% nylon; 45% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

"Yes chef!" And let me hear you say it. Men's shoe size 7-12. 40% nylon; 57% combed cotton; 3% spandex.

This is a big deal but I know you got my back, dude.

51% combed cotton; 46% nylon; 3% spandex.

Who's ready for walkies?! Say woof! Men's shoe size 7-12. 36% nylon; 62% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

Look, it's not complicated. You just take a left at the brown tree, the one with all those branches? Yeah, then you go about 43 paces past the old building there...no, no Indiana Jone's paces, that's standard, and then... Men's shoe size 7-12. 26% nylon; 72% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

If you need me, I'll be in the garage doing really important garage things. You know, like puttering and tinkering and stuff. Men's shoe size 7-12. 38% nylon; 60% combed cotton; 2% spandex.

What's really cool about me is that I'm even cool in the ways in which im a little un-cool, which is pretty cool, you know?

62% combed cotton; 35% nylon; 3% spandex.

Whoops, I did it again, didn't I? Sorry, could you repeat that just one more time? Men's shoe size 7-12. 39% nylon; 58% combed cotton; 3% spandex.